Free Coffee

I am now employed as a barista at TostaCaffe. It's a bit of a trek, but you should come by for a delicious espresso or coffee drink. I am also quite adept at making those shakes with whip cream that people pretend are coffee (there is nothing in them but sugar sugar sugar).

Use this coupon, or I can pretend you're my significant other to receive drinks at a hefty discount.

Please, only one "special" friend a week as my fake relationship status (stati?) could become an awkward conversational topic at work.